How Not to Go to Bed:
A Poem for Wakeful Children
By Julia Buckley
One’s parents are often regrettably rude
In sending a child off at bedtime.
They fail to remember the way that you feel—
Much more ready for stand-on-your-head time!
So here are a few ways to gently remind
Those people who want you to sleep
That slumber is more of a grown-up pursuit
Regarding the hurdlings of sheep.
The first thing to do is to make yourself plain:
“I am not tired!” the cry;
For parents are chronically sleepy themselves,
And cannot relate to the spry.
The next step, of course, is to distract the dears—
By dancing or singing a ditty;
They’ll spend half an hour in praising their child:
“How cute!” they’ll proclaim, or “How pretty!”
When compliments end it is best to proceed
To a bookshelf, selecting a volume
Which guarantees you’ll be read to for hours—
Find a chair with some teddy and doll room.
Now Mommy and Daddy are downright unkind,
And murmuring words like “sedation.”
Perhaps to restore some of their peace of mind
You should try to tone down your elation.
You still haven’t lost if they place you in bed,
Your limbs still wriggling and jouncing;
They so underestimate, parents today!
Haven’t they heard the term “bouncing?”
So what if your eyes start to droop a bit now?
So what if relaxies invade you?
You haven’t lost any of Babyhood’s stripes--
You didn’t go bedward, they made you!
Julia Buckley (c. 1996)
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